Matt Goldich | January 2004

Circle Gets the Square

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

STATE OF THE UNION: I only caught the tail end of Bush's speech on Tuesday night but I was pretty disgusted by what little I saw. The first thing he was talking about when I got home was steroids in professional sports, which seemed like a pretty insignificant matter to address in a 54-minute speech. (I loved Jon Stewart's comment that he wished Bush had gone further and said something about instant replay.) Then he launched into his whole "defense of marriage" bit. Let me say this: I'm not necessarily predisposed to care a whole lot about the gay marriage issue, and yet Bush and his cronies' views on this topic are so reprehensible that I can't help but be horrified. The most entertaining part of the speech was at the end when he tried to shake Cheney's hand and the VP spilled his water glass all over the place. Pretty funny stuff, if anyone caught it. ON THE OTHER HAND: Pretty shocking news about Kerry winning the Iowa primary. That guy seems pretty stiff and I have a hard time believing he'll have any shot at beating Bush. The good news from my perspective is that the guy I'm rooting for, John Edwards, finished a pretty strong second. He's the only one in the campaign who seems to have a real vision other than just bashing the President (not that there's anything wrong with that). By the way, did anyone else see the clips of Dean's "concession" speech? Good Lord! He was ranting like a lunatic professional wrestler. I have to say that the prospect of a debate between him and a near-comatose Bush is pretty appetizing, from a comedy perspective at least. KELLY BUNDY'S DAY IN COURT: This story came out a while ago but I just found out about it today. Apparently Christina Applegate might be on the jury for Robert Blake's murder trial. I thought actors had people who could get them out of stuff like this. What the hell do I want to be famous for if I'm still going to have to put up with all the annoying crap that mortals do. At least Harry Shearer got out of it, so Hollywood won't completely shut down. CRUSTY OLD BIRD: The headline of this story alone makes it worth reading - "At 104, Churchill's Bird Still Cursing Hitler". If you can't appreciate that, you have no sense of humor my friend.

SHOUT-OUT CHALLENGE, TAKE 2: Well, since nobody posted
a shout-out yesterday, the question I asked clearly generated a ton of
interest. Nevertheless, I'm giving you all one more chance to name your
favorite cover song. Daddy always said, "A Goldich never quits!" Or
maybe that was Dolly Parton's dad. Either way, post a damn shout-out,
people.