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Well, now that I'm listed on AOL I feel that there is pressure to post more often...so here's a random story:

For some reason among my friends I am known as the go-to guy for any questions about digestive issues. One time my friend came to me with a problem - he was like, "Matt, I had Indian food the other day and it made me really sick. I couldn't stop going to the bathroom. So I ate all this bran because I know that bran is supposed to make you regular, and for some reason that just made it worse!" I had to explain to him that when they say that it makes you regular, that means it makes you go. It doesn't work both ways. It's not like one of those things you put on a thermos that keeps hot things hot and cool things cool. It always makes you poop!

And for good measure....

I think the only thing worse than being called an a-hole to your face is when somebody sees you coming and mutters under their breath, "Oh man, can you believe this a-hole?"

Have a great weekend!

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