Matt Goldich | April 2007

Circle Gets the Square

Thursday, April 19, 2007

THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK:

I think a fun think to do in job interviews is turn it around on the person who's interviewing you. Start asking them things like "What are your weaknesses? What do you contribute to this company? Obviously not much since you're wasting your time interviewing me.

I don't believe in wearing a watch. I'm like the Native Americans - I eat when I'm hungry, I sleep when I'm tired, and when I absolutely need to know what time it is, I look at my cell phone.

I think the worst name I've ever heard for a company is the financial services provider TIAA/CREF. That name tells me nothing about the company other than that they threw together a random conglomeration of letters to form their name. Is that acceptable now? Can I just name my company HWVNFS[&/LLLL?

Along the same lines, band names these days are terrible. There are bands called Cute is What We Aim For and The Academy is....there are ellipsis in the band's name! What is that? There is even a band called "!!!" Three exclamation points in a row. How do I even say that out loud?

I'm kind of a germophobe, but I'm really half-assed about it. Like, if I am eating at my desk, I'll put a napkin over my mouse, but I'll still type. No joke about this, just a weird insight into my being.

One thing that's never good is when you ask someone for directions and they go "Oh, wow..." It's like they're saying, "Not only do I not know how to get there, I have no idea why anyone would even want to go there."

Maybe I'm a jerk but I never turn off my iPod during takeoff and landing on a plane. I just don't believe that it really interferes with the communications system. Like the pilot is going to go, "This is Delta flight 762, are you there, tower?" and in response he's just going to hear, "Oh no, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue". And the tower will be like, "Tell that guy in 12A to turn off his damn iPod!!!"

From now on, when my friend is eating M and M's, I'm just going to say, "Hey, can I have 3 M and M's?" Instead of asking for one and then taking more, I say just be honest with people.

Here's a joke I think should be illegal: when a new person comes to work at an office, and gets introduced to a whole bunch of people at the same time, and some wisecracker goes, "There'll be a quiz later!" Ha ha. Never heard that one before. Question one on that quiz should be who is the least funny person in the whole office. Guarantee you the new guy will get that one right.