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BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE: I work right in the heart of Times Square and every day I am assaulted by barkers from various comedy clubs. They approach passersby and ask them, "Do you like stand-up comedy?" Their approach is particulary aggressive and not a bit disingenuous considering that most of them aren't even comedians, as far as I can tell. It would require too much time and energy on my part to explain to these people why I'm not interested: "Actually, I'm a comic myself, which means I see unfunny comedians for free several times a week, so there's no reason for me to pay a cover and a drink minimum to see them at your club." Plus it would make me sound like a pompous jerk. So usually I just ignore them and keep walking. But then, sometimes I think it might be nice to have a snappy comeback I could use. Like this, for instance: Barker: "Hey, do you like stand-up comedy?" Me: "Hey, do you like making $5.75 an hour?" If anyone has any comeback ideas of their own I would love to hear them in the form of a comment.

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